


The Answer

by folerdetdufoler



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Evakteket SKAMenger Hunt, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 22:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17252846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/folerdetdufoler/pseuds/folerdetdufoler
Summary: the "unconventional mistletoe moment" prompt





	The Answer

**Author's Note:**

> i know most of my prompts for the evakteket skamenger hunt are quick future fics, but this one takes place around the same time as the end of season three into the hiatus, in an alternate universe.

Despite everyone’s warnings, Eva was throwing a Christmas party. Her mom was going to be away again, and she promised the girls she would keep it small. “Just us, I swear. Besides, I won’t have enough alcohol for anything crazy.”

“You said that the last time, and there ended up being enough alcohol for the cops who showed up to get hammered too.” While it was usually helpful, sometimes Noora’s memory of every party they attended or hosted really worked against Eva’s plans.

“So what, we’re going to ignore Christmas?”

“Let’s just have a sleepover or something. We can still drink wine but…in face masks.”

Vilde clapped her support, though she seemed to be into any kind of party as long as she wasn’t hosting. Sana stepped in to make the decision, since that was her role in the group of five. “Eva’s hosting a party. You can do face masks if you want, but we’re also inviting a select number of people so it’s up to you if that’s your look for the evening.”

Vilde clapped at a much higher frequency. “Who are you inviting?”

“Zero Penetrators. I have a list. I will take your suggestions, but you need to know that they are just that: suggestions. This is going to be a good party.” The ruling had been made.

There was a week for everyone to submit names to Sana before she shut invitations down. She gave the headcount to Eva so she could prepare, which meant asking Eskild to bring a tasteful amount of alcohol and going to buy snacks with Chris. Noora brought over sheet masks, and Eva humored her by fanning them out on the table, but they quickly turned into an actual joke when Jonas, Isak, and Magnus showed up early.

“Please please please do one with me Isak. Come on, no one will be here for like another hour. I need a distraction.” Magnus had carefully selected a peppermint-infused one for himself and was trying to sell Isak on something with charcoal.

“Will it shut you up?”

“For ten to fifteen minutes,” Magnus read off the back of the pouch.

“Good enough for me.” Isak shoved himself up off the couch and snatched the mask from Magnus.

“Oh? Are we doing masks? I already did one this morning but another wouldn’t hurt.” Eskild picked out a pouch and followed them upstairs to the bathroom.

Eva was busy with Jonas in the basement. Mahdi showed up ten minutes later, and given the options to find his friends, he decided to stay in the kitchen with Chris and Sana. They finished setting out the snacks, tasting as they went. Vilde kept counting the bottles of wine. Noora kept asking her why she was counting them.

The doorbell was Sana’s only savior. She checked people in according to her list, letting them slowly fill up Eva’s home. Isak, Magnus, and Eskild descended into a cozy party once they were done moisturizing, and Eskild immediately began inviting people to pet his cheeks and guess his skincare routine.

“Isak, smell it.”

“For the thousandth time, Eskild: no.” Isak carried a fresh beer out to the couch, where there was one seat left. “Ask Magnus to smell it.”

“He already did.” Eskild made a seat for himself anyway, squeezing in between Isak and the girl next to him.

“I thought you had an actual party to attend. Why are you still here babysitting us?”

“Because it’s moisturizing.”

With Eskild pressed up against him, Isak _could_ smell his mask. It smelled nice. His own didn’t have any particular scent, but it had felt good when he was doing the massaging thing at the end. He watched Magnus licking at the edge of his mouth from across the room. “Do you think he’ll get sick if he keeps trying to eat whatever was in his mask?”

“No. In fact, the peppermint might do his breath some favors.” Eskild launched himself up out of the tiny space he’d made, earning some stink-eye from the girl. “Magnus, please keep your tongue inside your mouth at all times.”

When Isak looked up again, Sana was in front of him. “It’s your turn.”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been trying to get Eva and Jonas to resurface but have obviously had no success. You’re up.”

“Eh, just leave them alone.”

“But it’s _her_ party!”

“I don’t know, it kinda sounded like you stole it from her.”

“I did not _steal_ it from her. I simply guaranteed its success. But whatever. I’ll try one more time. Even, you stay with Isak.” Sana turned around then, and addressed the guy hovering a few paces behind her. Isak hadn’t noticed him until she drew him forward. “Even, this is Isak; Isak, this is Even. You should be friends. Okay bye.” Even laughed when she swiftly flew away, toward the door at the top of Eva’s stairs.

Isak stood, suddenly uncomfortable with sitting down while Even loomed above him. He extended a hand. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Even shook it.

“Friend of Sana’s?”

“No, she picked me up on the way here. I was actually on my way to a different party and she just…dragged me along.”

Isak squinted. “I would laugh, but I’m not entirely sure you’re joking.”

Even laughed again. “You’re right, she would do that. I’m actually a friend of her brother’s. And her.”

“Oh. That’s cool.” Isak was kind of confused as to why Even would attend their little party, but knew it would be rude to ask.

“Do you know everyone here?” Even glanced at the girls on the couch. Isak twisted around to get a look at the room.

“Um…yeah, I think so. I know Sana was keeping it low-key because Eva’s house got trashed last time, so it’s mostly people we know from school. Except Eskild.”

“Who?”

“He’s the guy currently camped out under the mistletoe.” Isak pointed his bottle in Eskild’s direction. Eva’s mom had hung some mistletoe in the doorway to the kitchen, a thick bundle of sprigs tied with red ribbon, and he was leaning against the frame. “I’d introduce you but I can’t guarantee that he won’t kiss you.”

Even shrugged. “I wouldn’t mind.” He strode over to Eskild, leaving a stunned Isak in his wake.

By the time Isak had recovered and joined them, Even was already petting Eskild’s cheek. “Very soft.”

“Of course. You might need some more work, but I recommend starting with a charcoal mask. It’s what Isak did.”

“Eskild!”

“Was it not? I know we don’t have a before reference but trust me, this is a vast improvement and it only took fifteen minutes.” Eskild reached out to cup Isak’s chin, but he jerked his head away. Eskild pouted.

“Charcoal?”

“Yes. Detoxifying!” It sounded like Eskild was at the party just to shill masks. And apparently it was working. Even went over to the table and picked up a pouch that had matched Isak’s.

While Even was stepped away, Isak noticed Sana emerging from the basement. He sent her a nod, then called out, “No luck?”

“I was too nervous, and then I heard things.” She scowled in disgust as she approached.

Isak brushed it off. “I’m sure they’ll be done soon.”

“Sana, let’s do a mask!” Even reappeared at their sides with two masks.

“You’re doing one?”

“Yes. Eskild recommended it.”

This was the strangest party Isak had ever been to, Christmas or not, but he realized he was enjoying himself. He wanted Sana to do a mask, if only to give her a break from being replacement host. And like with any party, it was better to be doing _something_ , no matter how dumb it was, rather than nothing. “Come on, we can go upstairs before Magnus sees us and joins.”

“Who’s Magnus?”

“It’s better if you don’t know.” 

Isak started walking to the stairs, trusting that Even would follow. He did, and Sana and Eskild were close behind. They went back up to the bathroom, which was strangely empty, and lined up in front of the mirror. Eskild started walking them through it, and Sana grabbed a pouch to read the actual instructions on her own. Isak just watched, taking the opportunity to observe Even in the mirror without seeming like he was staring. He laughed to himself, thinking about the kind of action this bathroom usually got during parties and how it most definitely was not this. Then he went and shut the door behind them, dulling what little noise was drifting up from the party below.

“So, Eskild, you don’t go to school with us?” Even asked as he tried to peel apart his mask.

“Us?” Isak interjected. “You go to Nissen?”

Sana whipped around, abandoning her own mask. “Are you an idiot? Of course he goes to school with us. Do you think I just dragged a random person to a private party?”

Isak caught Even’s eye in the mirror then, and they both laughed at the reappearance of the small joke. His face fell though, when Sana’s glare intensified. “N-no, I just…didn’t know he went to school. Sorry, but I haven’t seen you before.”

“Well I’m kind of new. I transferred this year.”

“This just means Isak has had his head up his own ass for four months, incapable of recognizing a friendly face.”

“Sana!” Even Eskild was scandalized by her scathing remark.

Even chuckled. “It’s okay, Sana. I’m not offended. It’s not like we’re in the same year or anything.” He had successfully unfolded the mask and held it up in front of his face.

“Wait, first we need to take this.” Eskild dipped his fingers into the pouch and they came out covered in dark liquid. He painted them onto Even’s t-zone. “Don’t want to waste any of the mask. Okay, now lean forward a bit and start at your hairline, then let the mask just…rest into place.”

They all watched as Even lined up the mask and covered his face. He was obviously laughing under it, the apples of his cheeks catching the thin cloth. Eskild started smoothing down the edges around his nose and mouth before it set too much.

“Open your eyes. Can you see?” Once he did, Eskild smoothed down the edges over his eyebrows, carefully pressing the liquid down so none of it dripped into his eyes. “And then we start a timer. Sana, do yours too so you’re on the same schedule.” Eskild was quite business-like in the administration of the masks, using a kind of focus that Isak hadn’t seen much of back at their apartment. This was also strange for a Christmas party.

Their attention turned to Sana who was expertly applying her own mask, either picking up Eskild’s instructions with ease or already being familiar with the whole process.

“It took Magnus a significant amount of time and effort to do this, by the way. I’m embarrassed for his struggle on his behalf.” Isak's preferred delivery for compliments usually involved insulting Magnus, whether he was present or not.

“The question is, when are we _not_ embarrassed by Magnus?” Sana mumbled while she smoothed out her wrinkles.

“You guys are hyping Magnus up so much I’m really getting excited to meet him.”

Isak and Sana exchanged looks in the mirror.

“Oh come on, Magnus is a sweetheart. A little misguided, but still a sweetheart.”

“If _Eskild_ thinks _Magnus_ is misguided, then that is saying something.”

Eskild slapped at Isak’s shoulder.

“Actually you’ll probably really get along. You’re both this special kind of ridiculous,” Sana observed.

Even’s mouth dropped open, making his mask slide off center. “This bathroom is so savage.”

“Merry Christmas,” Isak muttered.

They waited. Isak checked Eskild’s timer. Even put the seat cover down on the toilet so he could sit. Eskild started playing with Sana’s hijab as if it were her hair to braid, until she shook her head and shot him a look.

“Okay, Sana…don’t get angry. Or…more angry. But I’m going to show you something.”

“That sentence alone is enough to make me angry.” But she held out her hand for whatever Even had pulled up on his phone. Isak walked over to him, trying to get a look before he revealed it to her. He choked. Even presented his screen: the image search results for No-Face from _Spirited Away_.

“What _is_ that?”

“A character from a Japanese movie,” she answered, monotone. All three guys were holding their breath, unsure what her actual reaction was going to be beyond this. She turned to the mirror to look at herself again. She gestured for the phone, which Even gingerly placed in her palm. Sana raised the phone next to her face, allowing the side-by-side comparison. And then, softly: “Fuck.”

Even’s laugh echoed in the tiled room. “Please…please let me take a picture. I won’t post it anywhere, I just want to have it.”

Sana’s expression didn’t change, though it couldn’t have, by much, under the mask. Even’s did, lighting up and turning him in to a kid who couldn’t keep his costume on at Halloween, but that just made Isak understand his friendship with Sana. She was the other side to his ridiculous coin. 

Sana handed his phone back and faced him straight on so he could take a picture. He giggled consistently throughout the quick process.

“If that photo leaves this bathroom you are dead, you know that?”

Even stopped giggling. It wasn’t so much the threat as what he felt was coming after it.

“And now you have to do something for me.”

Isak felt like he needed to run. He needed to leave the bathroom, but he also needed to see what else she was going to unleash on the new guy. He sensed Eskild stepping back toward the door.

“You are going to keep your mask on. You’re going to go downstairs, outside. You’re going to go around to Eva’s window and bang on it as loud as you can until they shit themselves or come back upstairs, whichever comes first. You have five minutes. Go.”

They froze. Even finally spoke. “Really?”

“Four minutes.”

They ran.

Eskild stepped to the side at the top of the stairs. “It was nice to meet you Even. You’re on your own.”

“Eskild! Don’t abandon me in my time of need!”

With the world’s weakest excuse, Eskild backed away. “I need to help Sana when her mask is done.”

“Fuck off, Eskild.” Isak grabbed Even’s wrist, understanding that their own timer was ticking and it would be a shame to mourn a friend he just made. He dragged Even down the stairs and right around to the front door. He hoped they were moving too fast to cause any notice, but with his luck phones sending Even’s sheeted face to Instagram faster than he could say “hydration.”

“Where’s her window?” Even yelled once they were outside. Isak kept pulling on his wrist, directing him to the side of the house.

“Down there. You’ll have to bend over to get your face up close. It’ll probably be locked, but you can try to open it if you want.”

“No, I’m just going to knock. Do I look scary enough?” Even was panting, but he stood still for Isak’s evaluation.

Isak let go of Even’s wrist, suddenly aware that he was holding him. “You look like you’re melting.”

“Close enough.” Even’s breath came out in puffs of condensation, making him look like a dying robot. It struck Isak then though, that that was exactly the opposite of what he was. He was a human, a boy. He was alive. And he was wearing a mask. Isak would have taken a photo himself if he didn’t think he was going to remember this look, this moment forever.

Even spun around and climbed over the bush that slightly obscured Eva’s window. He dropped into a crouch and bent his head close up to the pane. Soft light from the bedroom lit Even’s form in a silhouette. Isak braced himself for the knock, the noise.

Even pounded. Isak heard the thunder in his heart.

Jonas screamed.

* * *

Jonas didn’t speak to Isak for a week. This just made Isak laugh, though, because he was barely at fault for Jonas’s mad dash upstairs clothed in nothing but Eva’s blanket. Phones, still out from Even’s own embarrassing dash, were ready to snap Jonas and quickly confirm that Sana knew how to throw a good party. Isak got the cold shoulder until the gossip died down, so it wasn’t until the last day before winter break that Jonas finally joined him again for lunch. “Hello, dickheads.” He greeted Isak and Even with a growl.

“Oh hey, I know you. Aren’t you that guy who—“ Even’s tease didn’t go beyond that because Jonas shot him a glare that rivaled Sana’s.

“Didn’t take long to replace me, eh?” he accused Isak.

“I didn’t replace you, Magnus did.”

In the week of silence Even finally met Magnus at school, and Magnus quickly became a one-man fan club, though Isak suspected it worked both ways. The three of them hung out in the boys’ usual locations, Even standing in for a sulking Jonas. When Jonas returned to the fold they just rearranged themselves to make more space.

“Okay, well I have to get to my shift. Glad you’re back, Jonas, and sorry about the scare.” Even stood and offered a hand to say goodbye and broker a truce. Jonas slapped it into a well-meaning shake.

“We’re good. Eva sent me a photo of you in the mask, so….”

Even smiled. “Print it, frame it. It was a look.” He strode off through the cafeteria, out into the courtyard, with enough confidence to leave both Isak and Jonas speechless.

A minute later Jonas let loose a thought. “What I don’t get is how a guy like that was here for four months before any of us noticed.”

Isak shrugged. He too had wondered about it, but then chalked it up to Sana being right, again. Maybe he’d had his head up his ass. It didn’t matter now, because they hung out almost every day, but the whiplash from going from not knowing Even existed to wondering what he was doing every six minutes still stung. “Sana obviously noticed. Maybe he was just…adjusting.”

“Speaking of Sana, you should ask her what’s up with that red string he wears.”

“What?”

“On his wrist, the bow.” Jonas wrapped his fingers around his own wrist.

“Oh. Why do I have to ask Sana about it?”

“I dunno, is it like a religion thing? Isn’t there a religion where the people wear red bracelets?”

“Not Sana’s. But I don’t know what it is. He wasn’t wearing it the night we met him.” Isak distinctly remembered what Even’s wrist looked and felt like that night, and it had been bare. “Maybe it’s a Christmas spirit thing. Or for work.”

It was Jonas’s turn to shrug. He peeled back the lid to his yogurt and started eating, the end of their lunch break swiftly approaching.

“Fuck, we’re like, three hours from freedom.”

“Gonna be fuckin’ amazing. We’re going to meet at mine after, yeah?” Even though they hadn’t talked, Jonas had still texted about a football tournament at his house immediately following their last class of the year.

“Yes. Good luck getting me off your couch.”

“I will order pizza accordingly.”

They finished their food in silence, excited to get to class once they remembered what was on the other side of it. As they were gathering their trash to leave, Isak looked down and noticed a tiny branch on the stool next to him, where Even had been sitting. He wouldn’t have thought anything of it, just some flora tracked in by a student through the door to the courtyard, but he picked this one up. It was plastic, three green leaves and a couple of small berries. He quickly shoved it into his bag before Jonas saw.

The strange thing about the piece of the plastic plant wasn’t that it was plastic. The strange thing was that it matched the one Isak had pulled out of his pants pocket the morning after Eva’s party. Once his class was done he texted Jonas that he had to run home really quick, but then he’d come over as soon as possible. Jonas told him to bring beer if he had any, so it wasn’t that much of an inconvenience. When he got home he ran to his room and found the other twig from a week ago. They weren’t exactly the same, but they were from the same plant. He took a picture of the two twigs together, for reference, then tucked them away behind the lamp on his shelf.

* * *

Their break went by too slow and too fast at the same time. All five guys were staying in the city for the holidays, so they just kept up a steady rotation between Isak’s apartment and Jonas’s, playing endless tournaments and making Even do constant beer runs. Isak walked with him to keep him company and help carry the bags back. They celebrated the important days with their families but always ended up back in a lazy heap in front of their TVs, nursing buzzes and making fun of everyone else’s winter vacation selfies on Instagram. As a joke, they all got high and attended the school’s revue at the end of January. Vilde was not impressed.

She cornered them after the show, while they were dicking around in an empty classroom waiting for Mahdi to finish up in the bathroom. “What the fuck, guys? That was so disrespectful.” She crossed her arms over the glittery top she was wearing for the occasion. Even immediately stood up straight and apologized, the only one sober enough to do the right thing.

“Sorry Vilde, we were just trying to have some fun.”

“The show _is_ fun! And it’s a serious deal. We had teachers, and other schools there, and maybe reviewers. But all anyone is going to remember is the row of assholes giggling throughout the entire thing and inexplicably forgetting how to clap until the worst possible moments.”

“In our defense, on the clapping thing, we’re…really high.” Somehow this defense made sense to Isak, and he stated it as much seriousness as one takes to court. Vilde just scrunched up her face and shook her head.

“You’re just lucky we weren’t recording this performance, or else I would report you.”

Jonas giggled at the threat but Isak, even through his haze, noticed Even’s head snap up and fear flash across his face.

“I’m sorry Vilde, we all are. We promise to go uh, sleep it off, and we won’t disrupt your work any further. Is there anything I can do to help?” Even stepped forward, a physical attempt to push the other guys out of Vilde’s eye line, her head, and focus only on what he could attempt in atonement.

Her voice softened when it worked. “Well…I can’t think of anything right now, but I appreciate the offer. I’ll…see you guys in school.” She turned on her heel and left, her rage dying and an afterparty to get to. It took Magnus a minute, but then he realized he should chase after her, and he stumbled over a chair in hot pursuit.

“Is he really going to try to hit on her with only half a brain right now?” Even asked no one in particular.

“It’s more than what he usually has, so why not?”

“Shiiiiiiiiiiit,” Jonas hissed, equally impressed by the burn and Isak’s ability to think of it in such a state.

“We truly are horrible people,” Even observed.

“Not me, just Isak. I’m high. He’s high and horrible.”

Isak bent over in a deep, formal bow.

Mahdi walked into the room just then, breaking up the horribleness. “Where’s Magnus?”

“Chasing tail.”

“Nice. Now we’ll have even teams.” Magnus’s absence rarely elicited such delight, at least for Mahdi. But he was right, the four of them could go back to Isak’s now and not fight over the controllers. They all walked to another classroom where the coats were being stored and picked out their parkas, helping each other into them like they were each other’s grandmas getting ready to leave. If anyone noticed their strange behavior, no one said anything, and they left the school in peace.

The whole walk home, Isak kept his hands shoved in his pockets. He rolled the plastic leaves of the third twig between his fingers.

* * *

Isak forgot about the twigs once school started up again. All three were safely hidden in his room, but out of sight, out of mind. The boys hung out on the weekends, drinking their way through parties and recovering on each other’s couches. It was all so much easier than their fall semester, now that they knew a third year and could walk right through the doors that opened for Even. They were also back in Vilde’s good graces, but Sana suspected it only happened so easily because she also realized which doors would open for her by association: those of russe buses. Even was their unspoken ringleader, and he and Sana kept their respective groups in line. They could all play, but they would play by their rules.

Sana texted Isak during class, even though they were sitting right next to each other. Somehow it was less obvious than whispering.

_Do you want to hang out with my brother and his friends on Friday? I’m bringing the girls._

_Let me ask Even._

_He’s already coming._

Isak was shocked, if only because it was the first time in a long time that he had to think of Even as separate from their group. But this was Even with his old friends, before he dove so quickly and deeply into their own circle.

_Oh, sure. Weird that you’re asking me instead of Even._

_He was afraid you wouldn’t be up for playing with the big boys. Didn’t want to pressure you._

Isak shot her a look to call her out on her bullshit, but Sana ignored it and the statement went uncontested. So he sent her a middle finger emoji. _It’s you who won’t be able to keep up._

_We’ll see._

They did an early pregame at Sana’s house. Their parents were away for the weekend, but the actual party was still being held somewhere else. Isak understood why when he walked in; their home was beautifully decorated with expensive-looking furnishings. The older guys were draped about the rooms without a care though, relaxed in the familiar space and blasting music. When they arrived the girls spread out among the fresh meat. Isak found Even and Sana in the kitchen.

“Juice?” Even offered from the fridge.

“No thanks.” He watched Even pour out two glasses for himself and Sana. “Not drinking tonight?”

“Going dry for a bit. See how it feels.”

“Oh.” Isak felt a sudden urge to join them in solidarity, but he’d already opened his beer and would look foolish if he decided to go sober halfway through the bottle. Maybe he’d just go slow tonight. Sana’s challenge faded into the background now that Even was directly concerned.

They joined the rest of the groups as they mixed easily in the living room. Isak was fascinated watching Even fit as seamlessly in with everyone else as he did with his own friends. Sana’s relationship with her brother came out in full force as they performed their sibling rivalry for everyone, and the evening’s standard for teasing was set. Some would get competitive, some would get flirtatious, but sparks flew either way. The relationship dynamics and the music did more to pump them up than the alcohol, and they were all raring to go by the time they had to depart. They moved through the apartment gathering their things, then spilled out onto the street in a noisy, amorphous mass.

On the subway they bounced around an empty car, playing music on their phones and shouting simply because they could. They danced and stumbled with jerky movements as they shuttled out to a friend’s house for the proper party. Isak held onto a pole and let people swirl around him. Even quickly dropped into his orbit though, as usual. They bumped shoulders and knees and both kept each other steady and knocked each other off balance in the same breath.

Even leaned in and shouted, just to make sure Isak heard him. “Sometimes I think I would make a great pick-pocket.”

Isak smiled, playing along. “You’d be rich off of this group alone.”

“All I need is a little sleight of hand.”

Even reached up to grab the same pole Isak was holding. At first Isak thought he was just bracing himself, but he watched Even’s hand slowly slide down the pole until the bottom of his fist bumped the top of Isak’s. It happened so slowly, with such purpose, that Isak looked to Even’s eyes to see if there was a meaning behind the touch, if there was a sleight.

He didn’t see one. He just felt Even’s pinkie drop down and lightly rub over his knuckle. Then his whole hand slid down further, opening to wrap around Isak’s and holding it as gently as a question. Isak looked down at his hand, cradled by Even’s, his skin going blotchy as he squeezed the cold metal beneath it. He saw how Even’s long fingers fit around his own, how his knuckles jutted out and his tendons undulated trying to keep his grip soft. He saw the red, fraying ribbon still looped around his wrist, with a tight knot and limp bow, waiting for something else.

It was overwhelming. The pressure, the heat, the mere idea that Even was touching him in a way they hadn’t touched before. It wasn’t a casual bump or helpful grip or joking pet. It was a request for intimacy. Can I hold you like this? Instantly Isak wanted to answer; he wanted to twist his palm out and hold Even’s hand instead of the pole, but this surge of desire, this spark scared him. His heart was pounding again, so he pulled his hand away. He let go of the pole, and let go of Even.

Isak subtly avoided Even for the rest of the night. If they were near each other, they didn’t touch. If they talked, they didn’t look into each other’s eyes. Isak was afraid of the question, afraid of his answer, and the fact that no matter how much he drank the answer wouldn’t change. He drank anyway.

Even followed him home, just to make sure he got there. He helped Isak out of his coat and made sure he didn’t trip over his own shoes as soon as he kicked them off. When Isak crawled into bed Even tugged the blanket out from under him and tucked him in. Once he was asleep Even left a glass of water and a green plastic twig of mistletoe on his bedside table.

* * *

It took Isak another two weeks to feel confident enough about his understanding of the situation to approach Even. After piecing together the evening’s events with Elias’s friends, he figured out that it was Even who got him home and left him the twig. Or if he didn’t leave it, he at least knew how it got there. And the fourth twig appearing the same night as the touch seemed like more than a coincidence. It was a reminder of the question. What took Isak so long after figuring this out was what his answer would be. He needed time to find out if his answer was still the same, and why he was so afraid of it.

So he went to school and watched Even. He rolled him around in his head a bit more obsessively than usual, but not by much. He tried to cast him in a new light, as a boyfriend, and then tried to see if he could cast himself in that light too. Could he be a boyfriend to a boyfriend?

It wasn’t a question of whether or not he was attracted to Even. He admired him greatly as a friend and knew how his body reacted when he was close. He knew he wanted to hold his hand and kiss him and keep him close so the pounding of his heart would never stop. He knew how alive, how aware, Even made him feel and it was hard to go back to whatever he felt before. He couldn’t even remember what it was like.

It took Isak two weeks to understand, and be sure, that whatever came next was worth the risk, that that overcame his fear. In the meantime both of them pretended that whatever they had felt before, as friends, was enough. They pretended there hadn’t been a spark lighting them up for something new. They didn’t ask any more questions.

Until Isak sent an invitation to the group chat. _Tournament at mine on Saturday at noon._ All of the guys were in. Then Isak made a separate chat without Even and canceled the tournament. _But Even is still coming over. I need to talk to him._

Jonas: _Good luck_  
Mahdi: _Text when you’re done, I’ll still come over to play_  
Magnus: _Are you guys breaking up?_

Isak ignored him, unable to respond let alone figure out if Magnus was joking or not. Besides he might actually have a genuine answer by Saturday.

The boys played along in the main chat. Even picked up beer on his way over. Isak thought his plan was going to work, that Even would show up unaware of what Isak wanted to talk about, made defenseless and honest by the surprise. Isak didn’t like that he felt he needed the upper hand, but this was the only way he could be defenseless and honest himself.

So he wasn’t very nervous when he walked to the door to let Even in. He had a back-up plan as well, that they could actually play video games and reason that the other guys had just bailed on them when they didn’t show. He wasn’t depending on it, but knowing it was an option kept his heart rate down and his mind from reeling. None of it mattered though, when he actually opened the door and saw Even standing there in a t-shirt and jeans, case of beer at his feet.

Because in his t-shirt pocket, sticking out right over his heart, was a green plastic twig with leaves that matched the others. Isak’s mouth fell open with an unspoken greeting. His hand flew up to Even’s chest and grabbed the twig, taking some of his t-shirt with it. Even stumbled forward. Isak tugged the twig free.

“Why do you have this?”

Even wasn’t ready for the answer either. “Do you know what it is?”

Isak didn’t. But…he turned away, walking through the apartment to his bedroom. Again, he trusted Even would follow. He pulled his four twigs from their hiding spot and thrust the haphazard bouquet at Even when he entered his room. “I don’t know what it is but it matches mine.”

Even made a sharp inhale, almost a gasp, when he realized his puzzle was solved but Isak wasn’t letting himself place the last piece. So he did it for him. Even raised his hand, bending it back to expose his wrist, and tugged on that fraying red ribbon. The tight knot gave. He stepped closer to Isak and gathered the twigs from his fist, one by one, collecting them neatly in his own. He wrapped the ribbon around the ends in a new bow. His answers: “It’s mistletoe. I have it because I want to kiss you.”

Isak would have inhaled, gasped, if there had been any air left in the room. But there wasn’t. There was just a look, purposeful and unrelenting, a touch, the heat of fingers running down his soft cheek, and the mistletoe: a question.

Are you afraid?

No.

Can I kiss you? Can I hold you like this? Can you hear the thunder in my heart?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.


End file.
